I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
