hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
