Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
