you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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