Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
