just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
