he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Farmville is her only friend.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
