I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
