My pussy is not your playground.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
