yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
