just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize