We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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