i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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