any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
