im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
