You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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