I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Randomize