thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
