Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
time to smoke my breakfast
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
