Only a mothe r could love this liver
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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