Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
