I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
