it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
