you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
