whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
