She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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