Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
