We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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