She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
