If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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