I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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