How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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