Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
