First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
