i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
