First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
