This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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