Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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