Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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