You made me cry and you don't even care
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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