you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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