Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
