Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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