finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize