I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
