please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
