i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
