Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Floor bacon is actually really good
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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