Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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