We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
