So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
