i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
