But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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