i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
We left an ass print on the piano.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
