There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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