Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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