Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
