Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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